Step in my shoes ...

I heard through the grapevine that I am a sellout. Apparently my weight loss surgery means that I didn’t like myself as it was. I guess some people need a little schooling in that department.

First off, let me explain what surgery I had. I underwent a laparoscopic bariatric surgery called a sleeve gastrectomy. It means that the doctor did 4 little holes to go in and remove the bulge part of the stomach. The result is that the whole stomach, intestines and esophagus look uniformly tube like. So weight loss is INEVITABLE.

Now why did I get it done? Because I LOVE MYSELF MORE THEN ANYTHING!!! At 364lbs, I was at risk to get diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and any other illness related to obesity. I was fortunate enough to not suffer from them at that time, but it was coming, slowly but surely. I wasn’t healthy and I knew it. I had tried every diet you can think of without any real lasting results. On a less serious side, if you think finding nice stuff to wear at a size 16 is hard, try finding something more than a table cloth at a size 24. Dressing was one of the most frustrating and tedious things to do. Fitting in an airplane chair … you already know that story. And the comments! Jeez!!! Not the ones from strangers, the ones from your aunts and uncles who feel like because they are family they are entitled to say anything they please.

A year after surgery I was down to 210lbs. Yes, I’m still in the 200s and that is ok. I am a 5’11” goddess, all this fabulosity weighs - down to a small size 14 sometimes 12W. I discovered a whole new world. Shopping, while still hard as brain surgery, suddenly got slightly more pleasant and easier. I love getting on an airplane now, don’t even need that stupid belt extension anymore. I haven’t tried the amusement park yet, I guess I still have some work to do on myself, but Rome wasn’t built in one day, right?

Today I am probably around 240-250lbs, a sexy size 16, healthy as a horse. I still walk in a place and have people look at me like the elephant in the room, because that is what insecure people do, especially when they don’t understand why it is that you look 10 times better than they do. The most important thing is that I feel good in my skin. I am comfortable with who I am and what I look like. I may lose weight again (since my dance teacher asked me to) and I will love myself the same. Whatever happens, I’ll never look like a stick, so technically, I forever will be a sexy patate!!! And frankly I am totally fine with that. All this awesomeness has to stand out doesn’t it? I can’t walk around looking like everyone else.

So really it is not about being skinny, it is about being healthy; loving yourself means that you would want the best for yourself. That is what I want, hence my quest for health.

Now, next time you want to judge me, educate yourself first. You can also ask me, I am an open book at this point. I don’t put my stories out there for popularity, that means nothing to me. I do it because I hope to touch at least one person who is struggling with their body issues; I hope to get one person out of their funk and help them realize that being big is not the end of the world. I want to do for someone what no one did for me.

Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate

Bikini, Fatkini ...

I had said in a previous post how I don’t think big girls should wear bikinis. I think I pissed off a few patates in denial, who thought it was cute as long as they felt comfortable wearing them. Then last week I stumbled upon this article that talked about a movement among the plus size community called fatkini, and I thought about what I had said previously.

Before I go on, let’s explain this fatkini thing. It has become an empowerment movement for big girls to embrace their bodies and flaunt it by posting pictures of themselves in bikinis on social media. It has become about self-acceptance and breaking the “norm” by wearing something that was deemed unsexy if I may put it that way.

Now I love the movement itself for what it represents, I truly do. I am all for accepting your body and making others accept you. I’m all for stepping out of the shadow and making people see you. Would I do a #fatkini picture? HELL NAH!!!

By no means, am I ashamed of my body. I love every inch of it now (except maybe my toes) like I loved every inch of it at 364lbs, like I’ll love every inch of it when I loose my 60 extra lbs. I set goals for myself, I want to better how I see myself, that doesn’t mean I don’t love it all. I am never afraid to go to the beach or walk in a room full of people. I walk around like I own the place, because frankly, I think I  am an extremely good looking woman who has nothing to be ashamed of. But I also believe that to look this good you have to find clothing that suits your body shape, covers your flaws and enhances your strong points. I am probably being labeled vain, but that is ok, I can live with that.

Now back to bikinis. I haven’t seen a patate in a bikini that looked good, NEVER!!! Notice I didn’t say plus size, I said patate. I want to point out the difference I am making right now. In my head, plus-size refers to a plus-size model, who is typically a size 12, with no rolls nor gut. She’s a shapely woman who isn’t skinny but in society wouldn’t be considered big. Whereas my patates, are like me, we have rolls and a stupid belly which always wants to be seen, our arms and thighs giggle to the faintest move we make. Now I don’t see how wearing two tiny pieces of fabric would look cute. I guess it may sound contradictory, and I probably am not doing a very good job at explaining myself but I do think it is hideous. Patates can look amazing, even more when they embrace themselves; but I still believe bikinis do nothing for us. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder; well this beholder right here looks at all the fatkini pictures and the only beautiful thing about it, is the confidence these women have.

Now I take it that it’s all about personal choice. Would I wear a bikini? nope! Would I tell any patates not to wear it? Probably! Are you obligated to listen to me? Absolutely not!!! I do love to voice my opinion, but I am a strong believer of doing what I feel is right for me, so who am I to prevent people from doing the same.

Now, next time one of you Sexy Patates wears a bikini, remember to hastag #fatkini to your picture to join the movement. In the meantime I’ll be looking fabulously sexy in my one piece.
Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate

what doesn't kill you ...

Humiliation… I went through my share of that having been heavier all my life. People sometimes fail to realize that a simple comment can be mortifying. Eventually you learn not to let others words affect you but sometimes it goes beyond regular words.

I’m sure I’ll find a few patates that can relate to this; ever been on a plane and it’s all boarded and you are struggling to fasten your seatbelt and that damn stewardess comes and goes all loud : “oh hun, it’s not gonna fit, you need an extension”… yep happened to me a few times before I lost 130lbs. I swear I felt like I won the war the day I got up on a plane and not only fasten my seatbelt but tightened it too!!!

I remember once this guy wasn’t fitting in his sit, the flight attendant with an attitude said “Sir, you need to purchase another seat but this flight is full so you are going to have to go to the gate to be put on the next one” I get it, some people are big, and your damn seats can’t accommodate everyone but hotdamn! Can you call the guy to the side to tell him? Does the entire plane need to know that he cannot fit your standard seat? Common’ some compassion never killed anyone. How about having passengers input their size while buying your stupid tickets, maybe then we would know how many seats to pay for.

Another good example: ever been to the amusement park with a group of friends and/or family. There is this super exciting ride you’ve spotted from the parking lot, you all are hyped and ready to get on it, you get to the front of the line and… the attendant says “sorry there is a 200lbs limit for this ride” and when your face indicates you are going to argue he says “we have a scale if you’d like to step on it”. I’m not even lying here, it really happened to me, and a dear friend of mine (who told me the other day to please share this on the blog). Now how do you think we feel, I mean, I get it, it is a security measure, and your rides have a weight limit they can hold. How about you tell me before I pay at the entrance that I won’t be a able to ride most of the attractions or that people over 200lbs are not allowed in your damn park. Save me the embarrassment please.

We live in a funny world where most of the population is overweight yet standard size hasn’t changed, it is still itsy bitsy tiny. I know that feelings are not what people think about when setting rules and directions, but wouldn’t the world be a better place if people just took the time to try to not offend the majority of people?

Now, next time one of you Sexy Patates encounter yourselves in similar situations, just remember, if it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger (more fierce and gorgeous also)
Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate

Public Display Of...

So the other day, I went to happy hour with the sissies, and I saw a girl there, who inspired this post. Now I don’t know her, nor am I trying to put her down in any kind of way, she is just the lucky source of my inspiration for today.

I swear society has particular bias and ridiculous standards when it comes to the sexy patates, and whether you want to admit it or not, you all have judged us one time in your life based on those retarded unspoken guidelines.

For example, fat people eating in public. Yes we do eat, like any other person. No we are not going to consume the entire restaurant. Regardless of our weight, food is still a requirement to survive and we are not cave people, we do have manners and know how to sit at the table and eat properly. If you’ve ever gone out eating with me, you’d probably realize that most of the time (if not always) I will eat less then everybody at the table and that’s not because I’m watching my mouth, I just don’t eat that much. People are big for an array of different reasons, not saying that eating a lot is not one, I’m just saying that the looks you give us, when eating in public, you should really get smarter and stop it. It is a physiological need we all have. If, for some mysterious reason, it bothers you to see big people eat, let me give you a trick, just turn your head the other way. Now my sexy patates, please do eat with class in public (and preferably at home too), we have to accept that we do get scrutinized for eating in public, so how about shutting them up. Let’s leave the piggin’out for our rooms, when we are depressed.

How about dancing in public. First of all I want to put it out there, I am an excellent dancer! I can’t twerk for shit but I can do a mean yanvalou! Splits too!!! So yeah, don’t sit there with that ready to burst laughing face because I start bopping my head to the music. I am not about to embarrass myself, yeah my fat will jiggle a little (not if I have spanx on though) but I can absolutely keep up with the beat. Now that brings me to my “inspiration”. See I’m all for that confident patate who’s walking around the club like her shit don’t stink and like she can outdance every single person, but … first lets untuck that damn 2 size too small shirt in which all your rolls are let loose, then stop gyrating like you’re having a bad orgasm. Mimicking sex cannot be what you think dancing is. That goes for all girls, but I guess the fact that we are bigger and probably easier to notice (since we occupy more space), makes us the object of more jokes than most. Now now I know you are thinking again, “I don’t care what they think, Imma do me”, and I get it, but you and I know that it still affects you, deep down.

Now, next time you see a Sexy Patate at the restaurant or the club, just remember we are normal people, we eat, dance and have fun too. So if you have derogatory thoughts about us, just go fuck yourself, seriously.

Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate

Haitians be like...

At times, I find people to be very insensitive and mean in their comments about big girls. How many time have I heard “li bèl wi pou grosè l’” (she’s pretty for her size); to which I wonder: why doesbeauty get automatically linked to size? I mean I clearly consider myself big, but I also believe I am gorgeous. So it really doesn’t register when they say that to me.
I do agree that certain people could look better if they lost or gained some weight, although, many times, it can simply be fixed by getting the right size clothes; but being big can’t automatically make you ugly. A big girl can be beautiful and even sexy, believe it or not. I remember meeting this guy, I was much younger then; he told me how sexy he thought I was. At the time, I laughed it off, then he told me “I’m serious, it’s not about your size, sexiness comes from within. It’s the way you carry yourself, the way you walk into a room, the way you dress. It just comes out naturally”. I never forgot his words, and with time I did end up understanding them. Sexiness does not mean being barely covered, or wearing super tight outfits, or flashy makeup. It does not come with a size limit either. It is a state of mind that oozes out of you, and shines from within. 

How many times do you meet people, not close friends, nor close family, and they just go “oh koman ou fè vinn gra konsa?” (how did you get so big?) These are the people I have to thank for teaching me personal restraint. You have no business commenting on my weight, you don’t know why my weight changed. If I don’t comment on my weight well you are not allowed to either, do I ask you why your face looks like an ass? No, because that is not polite!!! What makes you think that I’m ok with you talking about my weight.One time, this lady said to me “ou vin gra papa, ou ansent?” (you got big, are you pregnant). I just smiled and said no, but I just had a miscarriage (not true by the way but I never told her that). You should have seen her; she turned red, then green, probably some blue and purple too. Then she tried to apologize, too little too late since I had already walked away. That’s what she got forbeing so damn rude and nosy! I don’t know about other nations, but I really feel like my fellow Haitians do say whatever they please regardless of how inappropriate or hurtful it can be.
Now I’ve worked on myself so that comments like these don’t phase or hurt me anymore, but it wasn’t always the case. And I’m pretty sure many patates still have a hard time dealing with that.
Now I do not want people to think that I’m proning fatness and being overweight. On the contrary, I want everyone to be healthy, a sexy patate needs to be healthy; we can’t be seen out of breath and panting after a flight of stairs or anything. What I want, is for you to accept the fact that you are big, and that you can be beautifully big. Accept who you are, understand you size, learn how to dress your voluptuous body, wear flattering clothes, find out what enhances your beauty. You can decide to improve yourself, and if that means losing weight, then do it. But love yourself as it is, be sexy at any size, embrace YOU, the you that is inside, not the you people see. Society tried to define the standards of beauty, but I really think society deserves a big F* you for messing up women’s self-esteem.
Now, next time you see a Sexy Patate if you have nothing nice to say to her, how about shutting your mouth; that never killed anyone!
Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate

The Closet Struggles

The problem with plus size clothing is that it literally takes 30 pounds for you to change sizes. Meaning that you won’t notice you’re gaining or losing weight until its 30 pounds too late, because you never stop being comfortable in that size. I know 30lbs sounds like a lot of weight, but I seem to gain it or lose it in the blink of an eye (more gain then lose). Now the problem with that is that you end up with so many different sizes in your closet that don’t always fit. So putting an outfit together, as a sexy patate, can be as hard as shopping. You have to become some creative artist with elastigirl super powers for things to fit right. 

Very often, when my sisters and I, decide to go out, I immediately start thinking about my outfit, doing that very “fatal” match up in my head that almost never works (why I keep doing it is beyond me). I usually have it down to the T, and it looks amazingly good too, that is until I put it on. My head says it’s a bangin’outfit, my body says sorry bitch, you’re just fat. It is almost never, ever right! Gut is out there, spanx shows, shirt’s too short… really never right! So at this point I’m showered, looking at that stupid closet as if it will magically sow me a superb outfit that actually fits, while the other girls just put on exactly what they pulled out. In the end I make everybody wait on me, and in their impatience, whatever else I ask them they say it’s good. At that point I know to double check my makeup because they will let me go out looking like a gold fish if that means being on our way and out of the house.

Now, in their defense, I probably have the most truthful and honest gang one can ask for. They won’thesitate to shut down an outfit real quick without sugarcoating it. I just wished all the patates out there had people like that around them. That would have saved a lot of girls from being made fun of by society because whether you say you care or not about what society thinks, truth is, deep down, deep deep down, right next to the spot where you store how much you dislike skinny people at the gym, you and I both know you do care, even if it is a little tiny bit.

Now, next time you’re going out, even if you feel totally confident about your outfit, and your friends say it’s hot, why not take a full body pic just to double-check, question of maintaining your sexy patate fabulosity.

Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate

Big Girl Myths

I have heard a series of idiotic crap about big girls throughout the years, I usually try not to remember the mean things but you know what, sometimes what hurts you only make you fiercer. So I use it as my fuel, all this sexiness has to come from somewhere doesn’t it.

Big girls are easy. I beg to differ, desperate girls are easy, big girls are just voluptuously fat. I don’t know why people always think plus size women are easy to get in bed. Promiscuity has no logical relationship to size. I just don’t get it. Maybe, just maybe, someone sleeps around because they like it, or have self-esteem issues.

Big girls stink. OK we shower, like everyone, with soap and water, we shampoo our hair, we wear perfume. I mean come on! We even lift the rolls to rub soap under them.

Big girls can’t wear heels. Just visit my closet. It’s just a matter of being comfortable in the shoes you wear. I know plenty skinny girls who walk barefoot around the club while I still have my heels on.

Big girls have illnesses. By that they usually mean diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol and the others. While it has been scientifically proven that obesity does generate some of these illnesses, it doesn’t mean that we automatically have them. I am proud to say I don’t have any of them. To quote my doctor, I am the healthiest fat person he has met. So don’t assume. An illness is an unfortunate thing people, fat or skinny, may have to endure.

Big girls don’t work out. There is a reason you don’t see us at the gym, it’s because of all the skinny, skin and bones chicks that are at the gym, complaining about how big their thighs are, or how they had a bite of chocolate today so they have to run an extra hour on the treadmill. It makes us uncomfortable. Our fat will jiggle, and we probably won’t do the moves right. That place makes us vulnerable; we can’t help it, so adding judgmental shallow people to the mix is a recipe for failure. But we do do other things, for example I dance and if I may say I am very good at it.

Big girls can cook. Ask my husband, I can burn the house down trying to make eggs. So y’all just think that we cook to eat hence why we are big? Well I can’t cook, I am not even interested in learning how to.

These are a few of the things I’ve heard before that pop to my mind. People rarely think about the impact of the crap they say; they fail to remember that your size doesn’t remove your feelings. Some of the things people say can be so mean and hurtful but they say them regardless. And some girls, fat or skinny, can be so crushed when they hear these things.

Now next time you want to make a joke about a girl being fat, or even if it isn’t a joke, think twice, we already have it hard finding clothes or fitting in  airplane seats (a whole other story that I will probably share too); just keep your thoughts to yourself.

Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate