Step in my shoes ...

I heard through the grapevine that I am a sellout. Apparently my weight loss surgery means that I didn’t like myself as it was. I guess some people need a little schooling in that department.

First off, let me explain what surgery I had. I underwent a laparoscopic bariatric surgery called a sleeve gastrectomy. It means that the doctor did 4 little holes to go in and remove the bulge part of the stomach. The result is that the whole stomach, intestines and esophagus look uniformly tube like. So weight loss is INEVITABLE.

Now why did I get it done? Because I LOVE MYSELF MORE THEN ANYTHING!!! At 364lbs, I was at risk to get diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and any other illness related to obesity. I was fortunate enough to not suffer from them at that time, but it was coming, slowly but surely. I wasn’t healthy and I knew it. I had tried every diet you can think of without any real lasting results. On a less serious side, if you think finding nice stuff to wear at a size 16 is hard, try finding something more than a table cloth at a size 24. Dressing was one of the most frustrating and tedious things to do. Fitting in an airplane chair … you already know that story. And the comments! Jeez!!! Not the ones from strangers, the ones from your aunts and uncles who feel like because they are family they are entitled to say anything they please.

A year after surgery I was down to 210lbs. Yes, I’m still in the 200s and that is ok. I am a 5’11” goddess, all this fabulosity weighs - down to a small size 14 sometimes 12W. I discovered a whole new world. Shopping, while still hard as brain surgery, suddenly got slightly more pleasant and easier. I love getting on an airplane now, don’t even need that stupid belt extension anymore. I haven’t tried the amusement park yet, I guess I still have some work to do on myself, but Rome wasn’t built in one day, right?

Today I am probably around 240-250lbs, a sexy size 16, healthy as a horse. I still walk in a place and have people look at me like the elephant in the room, because that is what insecure people do, especially when they don’t understand why it is that you look 10 times better than they do. The most important thing is that I feel good in my skin. I am comfortable with who I am and what I look like. I may lose weight again (since my dance teacher asked me to) and I will love myself the same. Whatever happens, I’ll never look like a stick, so technically, I forever will be a sexy patate!!! And frankly I am totally fine with that. All this awesomeness has to stand out doesn’t it? I can’t walk around looking like everyone else.

So really it is not about being skinny, it is about being healthy; loving yourself means that you would want the best for yourself. That is what I want, hence my quest for health.

Now, next time you want to judge me, educate yourself first. You can also ask me, I am an open book at this point. I don’t put my stories out there for popularity, that means nothing to me. I do it because I hope to touch at least one person who is struggling with their body issues; I hope to get one person out of their funk and help them realize that being big is not the end of the world. I want to do for someone what no one did for me.

Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate

Bikini, Fatkini ...

I had said in a previous post how I don’t think big girls should wear bikinis. I think I pissed off a few patates in denial, who thought it was cute as long as they felt comfortable wearing them. Then last week I stumbled upon this article that talked about a movement among the plus size community called fatkini, and I thought about what I had said previously.

Before I go on, let’s explain this fatkini thing. It has become an empowerment movement for big girls to embrace their bodies and flaunt it by posting pictures of themselves in bikinis on social media. It has become about self-acceptance and breaking the “norm” by wearing something that was deemed unsexy if I may put it that way.

Now I love the movement itself for what it represents, I truly do. I am all for accepting your body and making others accept you. I’m all for stepping out of the shadow and making people see you. Would I do a #fatkini picture? HELL NAH!!!

By no means, am I ashamed of my body. I love every inch of it now (except maybe my toes) like I loved every inch of it at 364lbs, like I’ll love every inch of it when I loose my 60 extra lbs. I set goals for myself, I want to better how I see myself, that doesn’t mean I don’t love it all. I am never afraid to go to the beach or walk in a room full of people. I walk around like I own the place, because frankly, I think I  am an extremely good looking woman who has nothing to be ashamed of. But I also believe that to look this good you have to find clothing that suits your body shape, covers your flaws and enhances your strong points. I am probably being labeled vain, but that is ok, I can live with that.

Now back to bikinis. I haven’t seen a patate in a bikini that looked good, NEVER!!! Notice I didn’t say plus size, I said patate. I want to point out the difference I am making right now. In my head, plus-size refers to a plus-size model, who is typically a size 12, with no rolls nor gut. She’s a shapely woman who isn’t skinny but in society wouldn’t be considered big. Whereas my patates, are like me, we have rolls and a stupid belly which always wants to be seen, our arms and thighs giggle to the faintest move we make. Now I don’t see how wearing two tiny pieces of fabric would look cute. I guess it may sound contradictory, and I probably am not doing a very good job at explaining myself but I do think it is hideous. Patates can look amazing, even more when they embrace themselves; but I still believe bikinis do nothing for us. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder; well this beholder right here looks at all the fatkini pictures and the only beautiful thing about it, is the confidence these women have.

Now I take it that it’s all about personal choice. Would I wear a bikini? nope! Would I tell any patates not to wear it? Probably! Are you obligated to listen to me? Absolutely not!!! I do love to voice my opinion, but I am a strong believer of doing what I feel is right for me, so who am I to prevent people from doing the same.

Now, next time one of you Sexy Patates wears a bikini, remember to hastag #fatkini to your picture to join the movement. In the meantime I’ll be looking fabulously sexy in my one piece.
Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate

what doesn't kill you ...

Humiliation… I went through my share of that having been heavier all my life. People sometimes fail to realize that a simple comment can be mortifying. Eventually you learn not to let others words affect you but sometimes it goes beyond regular words.

I’m sure I’ll find a few patates that can relate to this; ever been on a plane and it’s all boarded and you are struggling to fasten your seatbelt and that damn stewardess comes and goes all loud : “oh hun, it’s not gonna fit, you need an extension”… yep happened to me a few times before I lost 130lbs. I swear I felt like I won the war the day I got up on a plane and not only fasten my seatbelt but tightened it too!!!

I remember once this guy wasn’t fitting in his sit, the flight attendant with an attitude said “Sir, you need to purchase another seat but this flight is full so you are going to have to go to the gate to be put on the next one” I get it, some people are big, and your damn seats can’t accommodate everyone but hotdamn! Can you call the guy to the side to tell him? Does the entire plane need to know that he cannot fit your standard seat? Common’ some compassion never killed anyone. How about having passengers input their size while buying your stupid tickets, maybe then we would know how many seats to pay for.

Another good example: ever been to the amusement park with a group of friends and/or family. There is this super exciting ride you’ve spotted from the parking lot, you all are hyped and ready to get on it, you get to the front of the line and… the attendant says “sorry there is a 200lbs limit for this ride” and when your face indicates you are going to argue he says “we have a scale if you’d like to step on it”. I’m not even lying here, it really happened to me, and a dear friend of mine (who told me the other day to please share this on the blog). Now how do you think we feel, I mean, I get it, it is a security measure, and your rides have a weight limit they can hold. How about you tell me before I pay at the entrance that I won’t be a able to ride most of the attractions or that people over 200lbs are not allowed in your damn park. Save me the embarrassment please.

We live in a funny world where most of the population is overweight yet standard size hasn’t changed, it is still itsy bitsy tiny. I know that feelings are not what people think about when setting rules and directions, but wouldn’t the world be a better place if people just took the time to try to not offend the majority of people?

Now, next time one of you Sexy Patates encounter yourselves in similar situations, just remember, if it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger (more fierce and gorgeous also)
Until next time my fellow fatties, friends and readers (you too haters, I know y’all can’t help but secretly read). Stay fabulous! #teamsexypatate